I’m only sleeping in my head and I can fly …

We made the mistake of having an early night and both felt like we’d slept for two hours and spent the rest of the night tossing and turning. I bored Donna explaining that I had dreamt about writing a dissertation on the history of the permanent wave, so I’m certain I did get some (very boring) sleep. Not much though.  Maybe it was the anticipation of flying to Krabi.

More likely it was the shaking off of the final crumbs of jetlag.

Whatever it was, we took a while to come round.  But come round we did.

As Donna has been a chambermaid, we did the decent thing and tidied up, stripped the beds, and emptied the bathroom bin because, according to Donna,  “nobody should have to clear away our dirty toilet paper”. I think that’s really thoughtful, as is the fact that she washes her knickers in the bathroom instead of sending them to the laundrette, because her knickers are for her to scrub, and her alone.

We left a tip for the cleaners and wrote thank you in Thai by it. Donna ditched her “light holiday read” that cost £10.99 and was actually a memoir by Minnie Driver, and shit. She also left her travel straighteners that apparently nobody had warned her not to bring (liar) and we left our cases and went for food.

Upon collecting our cases she was handed back the “forgotten” straighteners. She is going to try to ditch them in Ao Nang.

Yes readers, we got to Ao Nang:

After entering our special travel time vortex, where hours feel like minutes unless they’re spent in a queue waiting for transport, in which case seconds feel like days (for future reference never get a minibus from the airport) we arrived in Ao Nang.

The other couple in the minibus were speechless when they saw their hotel.

Except it wasn’t their hotel; it was our hotel.  It is beautiful but, because it’s low season, costs around £20 a night for our room.  A lake,  three pools, spacious rooms, and an air of luxury and exclusivity.

Donna wasn’t speechless though.  She couldn’t stop talking about it being the best place she’s ever stayed in her life.  It really is that level of spectacular. 

After a lot of photos, a bit of preening, and a quick check that we had everything, we set off out.

First stop: Boogie Bar.  This place demonstrates perfectly the Thai entrepreneurial spirit.  In the 6 or so years since I first visited it’s grown from a tiny bar with live music into a huge bar with live music and a pool table. It’s lost none of its charm in that time. And it’s impossible not to love thai live music.  Tight, slick, very entertaining.

We were fascinated by a Hindu family who were just having a nice relaxing drink; apart from the son, that is.  He was in his own world dancing away in his chair and it was joyous. As was the “BAD NAME” sung into the microphone by a very unassuming older lady when the singer shoogled the microphone into her face during a Guns n Roses song.

It was all a bit much for me though. Too loud and raucous, and I wanted peace and tranquility after a day of travelling, so we wandered along the sea front where we were shuffled into a ladyboy bar by a pavement tout and forced to drink a cheap cocktail under bright neon lights, and make ourselves heard over the noise of rubbish dance music. We only wanted a wee really so downed the drinks and went to eat delicious fruity pancakey Street food served by laughing ladies (at us, not with us, but we joined in anyway) in a weed bar that sold cocktails with half the ingredients missing, then retired to bed exhausted.