Donna blog

Donna Day Ten

I’m learning lessons each day I’m here. I never thought of myself as an inherently vain person, but it would appear that I am. I never realised how much I fuss about my hair and my clothes when I’m back home but I do. I always wear a full face of make up, straighten my hair and spend ages wearing a coordinated outfit (coordinated in my head anyway!) Imagine my distress when I entered a country which instantly frizzed  my hair, sweated the makeup off my face and was too hot for the matching khaki, black and white outfits that I’ve bought.

It’s a hard thing for an insecure person to go outside knowing they look messy and not right but what other choice do I have? Either spend the entire holiday worrying about my hair and what people will think of this scruffy, frizzy middle aged woman with the massive forehead or woman-up and not give a damn about what people think about me. I’m trying to choose the latter. And for the most part I’ve been successful. It has been liberating to walk in the rain and let it soak my hair and skin, not caring how I look.

Lesson number 2: don’t let your vanity and self-consciousness ruin your good time.

Sometimes this is easier said than done. Today Joanne and I went on a tour which we thought was a genteel boat ride through the Mangroves, taking photos of monkeys. It turned out to be a high energy tour of climbing through caves, sea swimming and kayaking. Kayaking! Good grief.

It turns out I love kayaking! I love swimming in the beautiful Andaman Sea! And not once did I give a toss about how I looked because I was having too much of a good time.

Until I fell off the kayak trying to get back onto the boat and was too weak to pull myself onboard. People laughed. Of course, they did. It’s funny when people fall into the water. But, just for a moment, the old insecurity came back. They’re laughing at you because you’re old and fat, whispered the nasties in my brain.

But Thailand is a good place and it’s making me stronger and building my confidence. So I shrugged off the nasties and enjoyed the rest of the tour. The wrong tour, for sure, but the right lesson for the day x

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