Unplanned Future

My psoriasis was being a little nasty bastard and last night’s teacups of wine were holding me prisoner in bed. Donna went to the pool whilst I got more sleep, but hunger eventually trumped rest and we stepped out into the mucky sweaty heat of Phuket. I had the idea to go to Caron Beach, which in my head is where people who think they’re posh stay and say, “we don’t go to the tourist traps. We like to pay a bit extra and go where it is more exclusive.” Like going to St Anne’s instead of Blackpool.  We hailed a taxi over the hill to our destination and went…

Writing about my life is something I’ve been doing for over ten years. It’s my therapy. Loads of lovely stuff happened on day 11, and I’m sure Donna will fill you in. But I ended the day with a little reflection. I’ve had a thoroughly awful year and this holiday is my way of giving myself permission to, if not put the grieving to one side, distract myself so that I’m not drowning in grief. That’s so easy to do, especially when you’re around people who are familiar with your pain. You find yourself sinking sometimes; and that’s where I was when we booked this trip. Just about treading water…

Whenever I come to Thailand I’m always impressed by how quickly opportunities are taken. Take, for example, the hundreds of cannabis cafés that popped up before the ink was dry on the relaxation of cannabis use law. There’s such a ‘can do’ attitude. Whether by necessity, force of spirit of the Thai people, or much more relaxed planning and business laws, Thailand is always changing. Always growing. Always tapping into current trends. And each time I visit I want to take that special Thai mindset and eye for business and sprinkle it all over my home town of Accrington. Let me tell you about Accrington. It has never been an…

I’m not really one for planned excursions where the guides make you stop off at certain points and do as you’re told for a set amount of time,  usually dotted with photo opportunities that you’re expected to grab and share and tag and show off with on social media. Some sightseeing is a must, though, and visiting the Mangroves is one of those.  We’d chosen a half-day visit that involved a leisurely kayak ride and a stop to watch some cheeky monkeys from the boat. We were collected exactly on time and stopped off at a couple more hotels for other sightseers. They were all dressed for hiking in sturdy…

One of the marvellous things about Thailand is that most things are relatively straightforward and hassle free. I’ll use the example of logistics and compare with the UK: In preparation for our journey to Thailand, we had booked in advance and paid for train tickets to Manchester Airport. Then the rail workers announced a strike on the Thursday and Saturday flanking our flight day, so we had to find alternative transport as we were warned our train might be cancelled.  I currently live in Rossendale in the UK and Donna lives in Clitheroe so other means of public transport were impossible without one of us catching four buses and the…

Literally drinking a bar dry of wine is great fun at the time, but not the next morning.  And what’s really not fun is waking up the next morning realising that you booked a Muay Thai session for 10am and there’s no coffee in your holiday bungalow.  I didn’t bother trying to waken Donna, as she’d stayed up having a bit of a party the night before; plenty of loud shouty swearing and the stamping of feet that I initially thought was caused by an intruder. When I ran round to check, I found that she was exterminating creatures with Avon Skin So Soft, which is an oily body moisturiser…

“This is going to be horrible. It’s horrendous.  You’ll hate it.” “Oh god, I’m not looking forward to this.  It’s gonna be shit.” “Fuck fuck FUUUUCCKKK! I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS!” Poor Donna was so stunned by my increasing sense of doom and despair that she felt the need to hide in the toilet trying to squeeze out any surplus fluids in case my fear of being caught short manifested itself in a long traffic jam in a jam-packed minibus with no air conditioning. The stuff of middle- aged lady nightmares. Yes,  we were going on the road,  and the sea, to Koh Lanta. I kept saying, “I’m hoping…

For the first time during our holiday we managed to get up early. For anyone who’s struggled to jiggle their body into a full six hours in the future, I’m sure you’ll understand what a milestone this was.  We’d gone to bed to the sound of the Frog Chorus and woken up to the Dawn Chorus. As is my wont, I was regretting booking a Muay Thai session due to the wine and dancing session the night before.  I did what I always do in such situations though and marched with purpose to the gym, pretending that I was in a movie. I find it helps. After a coke in…

Day five began badly. Bed refused to relinquish the pair of us, and when we finally emerged from our luxury cotton sheets and feather pillowed comfort, we were both a bit out of kilter and uncharacteristically quiet. There was important stuff to do though so I delegated. I would take the washing to the laundrette, book transport to Koh Lanta, and book a Muay Thai class for the following morning.  Donna would proof- read and send the blogs and photos to be published and buy water.  My jobs were easy. Donna couldn’t find the posts on my stupid i-pad, nor could she find the @ on my stupid Spanish keyboard…

We made the mistake of having an early night and both felt like we’d slept for two hours and spent the rest of the night tossing and turning. I bored Donna explaining that I had dreamt about writing a dissertation on the history of the permanent wave, so I’m certain I did get some (very boring) sleep. Not much though.  Maybe it was the anticipation of flying to Krabi. More likely it was the shaking off of the final crumbs of jetlag. Whatever it was, we took a while to come round.  But come round we did. As Donna has been a chambermaid, we did the decent thing and tidied…